The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize