im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
