I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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