I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
