Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
