and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He passed out mid-signature
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
