Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
