I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
