I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
