I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
