I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
