Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
