Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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