Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
