If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
