At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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