from now on my penis is your penis
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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