I want to have your abortion
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
