So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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