I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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