im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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