Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
