everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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