Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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