Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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