and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
