Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize