There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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