i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
