hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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