Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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