i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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