Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
