Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
