She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
