i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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