Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
