Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
