Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize