I could have mohawked her pubes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
