it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
