i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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