It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
