It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
