so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize