the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
