im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
