I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So here I am, sexting at work.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
