Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
