My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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