She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
