eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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