Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize