im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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