If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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