Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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