May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
