By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
