what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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