Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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