Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
