Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
