I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
