just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
