I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We had to coat check the pizza.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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