Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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