I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize